Time for a little getaway driving… 

[Sounds of tires screeching around a corner, a car alarm is constantly heard]

Well, Penny, I’m leaving this hoping you’ll be able to listen to it once you come to. A real close call, there, and we aren’t out of the woods yet. I still hear the sirens. That bruise on your left arm is from the middle console, sorry about that. We were kind of in a rush.

I think we’re safe for a moment, and Min is keeping an eye out the back window to make sure nobody is on our tail. From what I could hear over the comms, it didn’t sound like things were going very well. A lot of explosions. A lot of crying.

I’m not sure if something was jamming our sights these last few minutes, or if it was panic, but none of us were having much luck. Min missed from the rooftop while I was trying to take out a camera. And I couldn’t even do that. It’s not like it was even moving!  Even Fin wasn’t able to get much smashing done. Thank goodness that Deathtrap can be counted on to keep slashing things! 

While Zoe battled Jack for control of that huge hunk of starship scrap metal, I was trying to get us out of here. After finally dissolving a camera and getting Kaylee to block out the other one, I got us to a car and tripped the alarm trying to get in. Even with the loud siren in my ear, I could still hear the approaching whirring of that Megadeth Trap, as it swiped and twirled and took out everything around it. The screams of dying Psychos filled pierced through the comms.

Zoe and Jack went back and forth trying to keep control of the bot, but it seemed like Jack had the upper hand. At that point, I was still trying to break into the car, doing not much more than causing a crack in the window with the butt end of my rifle. It seemed like everybody was chasing the big bot, and the whole fight sounded like it was getting closer. Min filled me in later, as we were taking off, that she had managed to weaken both the deputy bot and the Megadeth Trap and even started helping Deathtrap get some extra attacks in. Apparently it was quite the frantic melee battle at the corner right behind us. I had been so focused on getting the two of us into this car that I hadn’t paid much attention to what was going on over there.

When I had glanced over at the corner after failing to break the window, I had seen Deathtrap and Fin being spun around, with Fin flying off and bounding back in for more hurt. A familiar sound of a Bloodwing attacking caught my attention for a moment as I saw Max dive in, slashing through wires and pulling at everything. That was one brave bird! Wires were flying and one of the cannons seemed to go offline. 

With that droid so close, panic set in, and I’ll admit I might have made some hasty decisions. I used your revolver to blast open the window and get us into this sub-par excuse for a vehicle. It’s been a hot minute since I last hotwired a car, but somehow all the right memories came rushing back! I’m pretty sure I beat my record from that time we had to chase down the Ziggle sisters through the Dust after they took one of Pip’s Runners for a joyride. And that time I didn’t even have an annoying car alarm in my ear!

There hadn’t been much time to get rolling, but I could see a few of the crew nearby. I had popped the doors and told them to haul ass, but only Min listened. I could see in the rear view mirror that Jack’s puppet had a lot of parts hanging out, and was getting closer. Fin was trying to knock it down, but not having much luck. Min took a few shots as she raced towards us, and I shot the back window out to give her a firing spot.

What I heard next over the comms didn’t make much sense.

It seemed Zoe had regained control, if only for a short bit. Rockets had been dropped on the ground, but mostly not much was going right. Based on what Fin was shouting, I can only assume he was trying to shove a rocket up the robot’s underside. Backside? Why would they have a backside? I’m not sure what Fin was hoping to do, but it didn’t work. I could hear the loud sounds of metal crushing metal as Zoe tried to get it to destroy itself, and then the loud crash of all that weight hitting the street. Finally! A stroke of luck!

Just as that sound happened, Min slid into the backseat, so I slammed on the gas and got us moving. I wasn’t waiting to see if that thing got back up! The doors slammed shut as the engine roared, and over the comms I heard the muffled sounds of crying.

Poor Fin. He must have really wanted to shove those rockets up somewhere.

That is when things went from bad to worse. Crying turned to shouting, shouting turned to explosions, and then everything turned to silence. Based on what I could piece together over the comms, something went wrong with Zoe’s last hack and the robot had blown itself up. Along with the crying Fin.

I could hear the sounds of Zoe trying to keep Fin alive, but the poor kid must have been thrown by his “unique” physiology. Fin was in our comms a moment later yelling about something, after yet another visit to the New U machine.  Going to have to get him some more coin to keep paying for the resurrections.

It was a short celebration, though. I asked Min about Max, who didn’t seem to be following along with Kaylee. Max didn’t make it. That infernal demon bot had taken a massive claw swipe at the air and smashed Max into the ground, leaving a Max-shaped impression in the street. I could hear the tone in Min’s voice, from the backseat, over the car alarm… I know that feeling all too well. Vengeance will be served! 

We’re heading back to the ship now, hopefully to meet up with everybody. With any luck, we can get you patched up once we get there. I hope you won’t mind a temporary retreat, because we need to come up with a better plan than we have right now!

I’m gonna take a minute to focus on the road. I’m wondering how long we can keep this car? It’s mighty conspicuous, so we might need to ditch it. Not to mention the lumbar support on this driver seat  is terrible! Who can drive like this? Remind me to avoid this model…

Image credit: Borderlands fan art by Andres Sorig. Sourced from: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/65/6b/b9/656bb95eb2865d8a1063a60ae4db874e.jpg