Good ol’ reliable rock.

The metal boys seemed to be coming out of every corner as they bashed their way over that pile of bodies. Pushing us back against the wall, not giving us any room to move. Fin was trapped on the other side, good luck to him, but we had our own problems. That was a lot of steel swinging our way!

Min did her best to get out, but tripped up on all the bodies and it wasn’t long before she was down. That left Zoe and I to take on all these frakkin’ bucket heads. No problem, right? Heh, they probably should have called for reinforceme…

Craptastic.

Well, that could have gone better. Hard to miss at this range, but these boys really take a lot to put down. Luckily Zoe has a few tricks up her sleeves, and that Slasher Robot can buy us some time. I can hear some yelling from the other side of the wall of bodies, and then suddenly the whole place is rocking back and forth like a Warg ride. What is going on over there? 

While Zoe and Deathtrap take on all these guys, I decided to play at hero. A pure stroke of luck to manage this maneuver, but once I was hanging upside down from the ceiling (don’t ask) I understood a lot better. Fin was messing with the ship controls, and seemed in trouble. Captain Tall Pants wasn’t looking great either, but seemed quite pissed off. Fin was yelling about some key he tossed, and with Min down I knew we had to get to the lower decks. With a quick parting shot at the Captain and a call out to Kaylee, we were headed off… better luck next time, maybe?Then the darnedest thing happened. Fin, somehow, crossed the entire room, taking out everybody on the way, and backflipped into the elevator before the doors closed. It was like watching the most insane clown dance routine you could ever imagine. Shears flying around, beards on fire, moonwalking, blood on everybody. I really hope Kaylee pressed the right button.

As the doors closed, we heard an explosion. No more Captain WhateverHisNameWas. Did I ever find out his name? Lost for all time now, I suppose. The next step was pretty much on script for every showdown we’ve been in.

Jax's recipe for takeovers
First: Take out the chief. Heavily gory, if possible.
Second: Threaten a minion with a bullet to the head.
Third: 2 Cups of Profit and a Tablespoon of In Your Face.

As suspected, these folks are in it for staying alive and getting paid. And apparently ice cream? As it turned out, we should probably add that to the recipe. Works really well with a large crew! Putting Min in charge of the ship took very little convincing and only a little bit of gold, which wasn’t even ours. Personally, I’m really looking forward to crewing a ship like this. Imagine the contracts you can take when you have your own wheels! Or wings, I guess? Balloons? 

In any case, with the main guy out of the way and the knights backing down, it was time to take control of the ship. Min seems none the worse for another trip to the cauldron ( which is… unsettling for many reasons) and it didn’t take much for Zoe to figure out how to run the comms and get a message out to the whole ship. The thing doesn’t fly yet, but one thing at a time. At least we’ve got one part done. It was time to get off the bridge and start getting this show on the road.

And then the elevator came up.

So… about that being in charge thing. Apparently, there’s some sort of pecking order on this ship, and we did a few steps up which ticked off some of the crew standing in line. This particular goblin thing looked rather nasty, and I wasn’t sure we were going to be up for taking out yet another overpowered cannon-junkie. We tried our best to take command of the situation, but this goblin was having none of it and was just about to open fire when all of a sudden, he didn’t.

Something Fin said, or did, or maybe threw at him because it looked like he tossed some liquid in the guy’s face. This must have been some sort of personal honour business, because this hardhead is suddenly throwing Roshambo with Fin while the rest of us look on in complete stunned silence. 

1…2…3… PAPER/PAPER! (Both paper?)

1…2…3… PAPER/PAPER! (Again?)

1…2…3… PAPER/DYNAMITE? (Okay, I haven’t heard of that one, seems like Fin is cheating?)

1…2…3… SCISSORS/ROCK! 

BOOOM!

I don’t know where Fin learned this, but that was the most devastating result of a kid’s game I’ve ever seen. In a moment, the elevator was ours for use, and the ship was still ours. Fin seemed in his element, hanging with the crew and having ice cream. The rest of us headed for the vault to find the Queen’s treasure.

It was a classic setup. Multiple chests, not enough keys. The biggest vault right out in the front where you can’t miss it. I remember us having to check up on a few places that had a layout like this and had just been robbed. Folks always loot the big one first, sometimes not even trying the others, knowing some alarm is going off. We had a key, at least. Two, once we got Fin’s. I didn’t plan on falling for the same old ‘looky here’ vault trick.

The one in the back had some nice enough loot, and I was certain we should open the other smaller chest. But Min disagreed. She really wanted to go into that big vault. I convinced Zoe easily enough, but talking Min down from that big ol’ vault door just wasn’t going to happen. Ah well, “Captain’s orders” and all that. What’s that you used to tell me? There’s a time for talking, then there’s the time for shutting up and doing what I was told. Ah, good times.

At least it turned out we could take out this curse that’s been on us since we got here.

But what was in that last chest? And how would we open it? It didn’t take long for Fin to do what Fin does… find a brute force way to destroy something. With the final vault open, there it was: Something. 

Sorry, I have zero clue what this glowy egg thing is supposed to be, or if it has value, but this MUST be what the Queen was after. Now we just have to figure out how we’ll get it back. I’ll let you know!

Image credits:

• Cover image: Piston’s Blimp in Borderlands 2, by 2K Games (sourced from https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/borderlands/images/6/67/Blimp01.png)