I’m sure this is not going to completely backfire on us.

I wasn’t wrong about the greeting party at the next stop. Turns out we arrived on some sort of bridge with an absolute enormity of a ship captain in charge. We thought quick and used those armor disguises as best we could. Luckily it seems this captain pays attention to the faces of his lackeys about as much as I do. With the three of us looking like friendlies, and Fin in tow, it took a little storytelling to get the captain not to smash us right away. I don’t know this Fin character well, but this psycho is either the best actor I’ve ever seen or he honestly wants to bite pretty much anything or anyone and has no worries about single-handedly throwing himself at the impossible. It was definitely distracting, and should have been good enough for us to get that key out of the deal, but I’m thinking we might get somebody else other than Zoe to do the sneaky thieving the next time around. Not that I’m volunteering, but that was a prime opportunity and it did not go well. At least we didn’t get our straps handed to us over a barrel.

And we learned a few things. Namely… that captain is going to be handful. And a half. Or maybe three quarters. I don’t know, you know I’m not big on the numbers stuff. Fin took a massive dig into them and it didn’t even do anything other than buzz the shields a little.

It made me miss that time you convinced that suit to let us into the fancy party on account of you being a diplomatic representative of the local guilds. Been a long time since I crashed a party that swanky. They even had linens on the tables and those little sausages that look good but taste like Rakk’s butt. You would have been proud of me, I actually said more than two words and didn’t wind up getting us all killed. 

Yet.

After talking our way out of that one, we managed to pull a couple of thugs with us into the elevator to “help us out”, right before all hell broke loose. I could have sworn that the four of us could take out two simpleton guards by surprise more easily than that, but we may need a little more practice working together because that was an absolute wreck. We’re on our way to the brig, supposedly to toss Fin in chains or a cage or whatever they use here, but after they see him with blood running down his face and two murdered guards at our feet it ain’t gonna be pretty when those doors open.

Wait a minute… the door is opening up. Oh no… this ain’t over. 

“HELP US!”

Sure. Like that’ll work. Wait… It’s totally working. Just a minute, this might get interesting…

[Sound of a mechanical humming and screams]

Sorry, I forgot to turn this thing off… and I can’t now. Hope you don’t mind the noise. That kid got the robot thing out there destroying stuff so our cover is blown and it’s time to make like a tork and spit.

Wait. What are those things? Ballistas? IN THIS ECONOMY!

“Look out, Min, they’re…”  Nope, never mind, she just slashed all the knights throats with their own swords so I’ll just be over here being quiet.

[A massive amount of painful screaming from radiation burns fills the room]

Heh heh heh. I love this thing!

…to be continued…

Image credits

• Cover image: Captain Flynt from Borderlands 2, by 2K Games. (Sourced from: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/borderlands/images/c/c7/Captain_Flynt.jpg )